Toilet Paper
by KittyKat1217
Summary: Sora helps Kairi get revenge on the man that broke her heart. Oneshot. SoKai


Toilet paper.

Lots of toilet paper.

This is what Sora Mathews had stocked in his shopping cart.

After all, heart break leads to heartache, and heartache leads to revenge.

And revenge was something I was counting on.

It had been nearly two weeks since Kairi had found out that her boyfriend, Riku, was cheating on her. She had been completely crushed and had broken up with him immediately.

I would be lying if he said I was sad.

I had loved Kairi for god knows how long. Probably, since we were thirteen. When Kairi punched a kid in the face who had made fun of my hair.

Ha, jokes on that kid, now, spiky hair was totally sexy.

I wheeled my cart around towards the check out isle. Ten rolls of toilet paper were glaring at me and I desperately prayed that the cashier would think nothing of it.

I cautiously edged towards the check-out counter and leaned my weight against the cart.

"Hi how may I- woah." The young female cashier remarked. I glanced up and smirked when I noted that she had been checking me out.

Cuz, yeah. That's just how sexy I am.

I began lightly tossing all of my toilet paper rolls on the conveyor belt. The cashier made no sound; she only stared as I unloaded my cart.

"What do I owe you?" I asked, reaching for my wallet residing in my back pocket while running a hand through my hair.

"I-uh I mean uh 8.95," she muttered nervously, biting her lip. I fingered through my wallet and pulled out a ten, slapping it on the counter.

"Th-thanks." She said, blushing.

Oh, killem.

She placed all of the rolls into a paper bag and handed it to me. I purposely brushed her hand against mine. She blushed wildly and looked away.

Yeah, I'm pretty much the worst.

I strolled out of the store and headed towards my car. The pavement was dewy with the excess water from the light shower Destiny Islands had received. I took out my keys and unlocked the car. Opening the car doors, I briefly admired the brand-new silver paint job this beauty had gotten a week ago.

I started the engine and made my way to Kairi's house.

Ding ding ding.

I reached for my phone while training my eyes on the road ahead of me.

_ Are u comin? U better hav brought food. Im hungry! _

I smiled at Kairi's texting dialect and my focus returned on the road.

I suppose to most people, Kairi and I were considered best friends. She told me more than she ever told any of her girl friends. Although my feelings for her had gone far past the boundaries of friendship, I'm almost positive I've been friendzoned.

Bad.

Like, we're mega-best friends. But ever since she had begun dating Riku, she had been awful distant with me. Almost as if she was avoiding me. But the second they broke up, it was chocolate ice cream and chick flicks with me for a week straight.

I was in heaven.

Finally, after two weeks of lamenting over the silver-haired asshole, she had finally begun to resent him. And, boy was I ready for resentment, as the rolls of toilet paper in the seat next to me hinted.

When I reached Kairi's house, I pulled up and exited my car, taking the bag of toilet paper with me.

I walked up to Kairi's doorstep rather quickly, eager to spend time with her. I didn't even have the chance to knock before Kairi flung the door open and yanked the bag I had been holding out of my very hands. She took one look into the bag and gave me a strange look.

"This…this isn't food." She said, shaking the bag in front of my face.

"I realized," I said, taking the bag out of her hands. She frowned, but extended the door so I could walk in.

I was a lot taller than Kairi, so her attempts at stealing the bag back from me were fruitless. She hopped up and down and huffed as she promptly gave up.

"Why's there so many rolls of ass wipers in your bag?" She asked, flopping on the couch. I flopped down next to her.

"Why do you think?" I asked condescendingly.

"Dunno. You gotta take a big shit or somethin'?" She asked.

God I loved her. She was so real. And so goddamn beautiful, even if she had the mouth of a truck driver.

"No you dumbass. Think about it." I said, flopping down on the couch beside her. She hesitated, and then smiled.

"No." She said, grinning.

"Yes." I said, dumping the contents of the bag on her lap. The white toilet paper spilled out and Kairi laughed.

"No Sora, no!" She said.

"You know you want to!" I hinted and she laughed again.

"Well…I guess so?" She asked herself.

"C'mon Kai, it'll be fun." I said, tossing her a roll. She caught it and tossed it up in the air and caught it again.

"Hmm. What if we get caught?" She asked.

"That didn't stop you from throwing a donut at Principal Dormley." I countered, smiling deviously.

"Hey, he deserved that and you know it. Besides, that was easy to blame on Tidus." She said, throwing the toilet paper at me.

"Yeah, so what's the big deal? It'll only take a few minutes!" I protested. Her face twisted into one of mock thought.

"Hmm, alright. But you owe me food!" She said, jabbing me in the chest.

"Sounds great." I said, grinning.

…

"I can't believe I actually agreed to this." Kairi whispered as we waited in my car.

We had both agreed on waiting to teepee Riku's house at night, so we would be less conspicuous. I almost couldn't contain my excitement.

I had wanted to get revenge on Riku for breaking Kairi's heart (and also stealing MY girl) for a god-awful long time.

"Yeah, well there's no backing out now." I answered. I looked around, and observed that no one was around.

"Alright, the coast is clear, let's do this." I said. I hopped out of the car and Kairi followed, with five rolls in her arms. I held the remaining five.

"Oooh, c'mon, let's get that tree!" She whispered enthusiastically. I followed her, smiling.

She was so beautiful. The moonlight hit her absolutely perfectly, so that her red hair glowed a bright cherry and her creamy skin shone brightly. I wished she was mine.

"Sora, c'mon you slowpoke!" She jeered, tossing the first roll over the tree, making a perfect, devastatingly accurate arc. I began throwing as well. Soon enough, the entire tree was decorated white. Kairi made the decision to start on his house.

"Sora, why are you so distracted tonight?" She asked while tossing toilet paper everywhere.

"I dunno, I guess I'm a little…tired." I lied. Truth was I was distracted by the amazingly beautiful woman that was standing before me, teepeeing an assholes house.

"You liar." She said, briefly stopping what she was doing to look at me.

"Please Sora, tell me what's wrong." She said, walking towards me slowly. How could she always know what I was feeling, every second of every day, but I could never tell what she was even saying half the time? It didn't make any sense.

Women.

"Sora…" She protested, touching my arm. She sent electric shocks up my bicep and I resisted the urge to shiver.

"Nothing Kai, let's just finish this." I mumbled lamely. Great, now she'll never believe you, you dumbass. She pouted.

"Soraaaaa," she said, pulling on the fabric of my jacket. She has no idea what that does to me.

"Kairi, I promise, it's nothing." I reassured her, taking her shoulders with my hands.

"Bs." She said. She opened her mouth to add to her argument, but I was sick of it.

I was sick of waiting.

I was sick of watching.

And god dammit, I was sick of wanting.

I took Kairi into my arms and I kissed her.

I molded my lips against her, and I could tell that she was surprised, because she let out a little gasp when I kissed her. I closed my eyes and silently hoped that she would kiss me back.

But the world hates me.

Kairi pulled away, surprised.

"Th…that's what's bothering you?" She asked, touching her lips.

"Uh, yeah, I guess." I answered stupidly.

"How long." She demanded. We had long since dropped all of the toilet paper rolls. Although, there were only three left.

"How long…what?" I asked, confused.

"How long have you liked me?" She said, moving her face closer to mine, tempting me to kiss her again.

"Uh, five years?" I said. God, I sounded like a dumbfuck.

Kairi paused for a second, calculating the years I had secretly liked her. After a few moments, she said something I never thought I'd hear her say.

"Well that's good, cuz I've loved you longer." And before I could register her words, she leaned up and kissed me with as much passion that she could muster.

Her hands reached up and held my face, and I reached down and held her by her waist. One of her hands buried itself in my spiky locks. However, I barely noticed. I was on cloud nine.

Kairi was kissing me! Me!

W

H

Y

?

I couldn't care less. She pulled away for air and laughed out loud.

"What's so funny?" I asked, though I'm sure my face was in a splitting grin. She giggled again.

"Nothing, you just look so cute when you're happy." She said, poking my nose.

"Well I'm about to get a lot cuter," I said, leaning in to kiss her again. Our lips met for a few seconds before we were interrupted by a noise.

"Hey, what the hell!?" An all too familiar voice rang out clearly through the crisp night air. Riku stood on his doorstep, looking completely and utterly pissed off.

I grabbed Kairi's hand and we bolted for my car, leaving the spare rolls of toilet paper on the ground in front of his house. We were both laughing like maniacs as we shot into my car.

I frantically started the engine and we blasted into the night. Kairi looked back, and once we were out of Riku's line of sight, she slapped me on the arm, hard.

"Ow, what was that for?" I asked.

"You wasted so much time kissing, that we didn't finish his house!" She complained.

"Hey, it was a team effort!" I shot back, grinning. She laughed and I pulled over, kissing her again.

"Yeah, I guess so." She said. We lapsed into comfortable silence.

"Hey Sora?" Kairi asked, meeting my eyes with her brilliant blue ones.

"Yeah?" I answered.

"Next time, buy less toilet paper."

** A/N I could NOT think of a way to end this oneshot, like WHAT? SO the ending is really weird. OOPS. ANYWAYS yeah this story is CUUUUTE so naturally I had to publish it. AAH fuck me. BUHBY-KK **

**PS STUPID DUMBASS DOC MANAGER IT SCREWED UP MY WHOLE STORY AGH WTF. ANYWAYS THANKS FOR THE REVIEWS MASTERKAZE SORAXKAIRI7 (WHO, BY THE WAY I LOVE LIKE...ALL OF YOUR STORIES)AND THE V-BLADE YOU GUYS ARE SUPER COOL LIKE...TOM CRUISE COOL.**


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